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How to Write a Half-Assed Top Ten List in Ten Easy Steps 10. Pick a title. This is by far the hardest part of writing top tens. If you choose a funny enough concept the rest will come easily. Here are some common formats for top tens: Top Ten Reasons Why (noun) is Worse than/Better than/Like (noun) Top Ten Signs (noun) is (verb or noun) Top Ten Favorite (noun) of (noun) Top Ten (noun) Every (noun) Needs 9. Figure out at least one good joke. This will be the #1 of your list and it is sort of the "punchline" of the top ten list joke. Of course, it'd be great if every number was hilarious, but we all know that isn't going to happen. If you can even think up one good joke pick a different title. If that doesn't work just give up. You weren't meant to write top tens, even the half-assed sort. 8. Come up with about four decent jokes. These should be spread evenly about the list. It's best not to have all the funny stuff concentrated in one spot. This way the jokes will seem even funnier because the number right before it wasn't very funny. 7. Practice. It won't make you perfect, but you'll probably get faster. The more lists you write the better because everyone knows that quantity beats quality. In fact, that's the entire premise behind top ten lists. You can't do one good joke so you do 10 poor ones and hope it all comes out even in the end. 6. Spread out the humor. If you come up with a funny, but rather long joke than use two entries to tell it! People will read the lists in order so you can add more to a joke on the following number. 5. Tangent humor. If you have a good joke that is only barely related to the list, then stick it in anyway! No one really cares how closely you stick to a topic and sometimes randomness can be funny. 4. Esoteric humor. Got a joke only a few people will get? Then add it in. Chances are those people are the only people who are reading your list. 3.5 You know, esoteric is a kind of a funny word. The only people who use it are the ones who are "in the know" already (namely, in the know of what the word esoteric means). 3. Out of good jokes? Then try some bad ones. Make people groan. Bad jokes are all over the internet so *someone* must like them. And if puns were as hated as people say they are then Piers Anothony would never have been able to publish all those books. And if nothing else at least it will make the good jokes look better by comparison. 2. Stuff that isn't funny but is true. If you still have some blank spaces left than stick in some actual reasons why Chewbacca could have kicked Jar Jar's ass. You never know, people might actually think it's funny. 1. Filler is king. If you have a short, but good joke you're allowed to mention it again, but make sure there is plently of space between the two. Always bring up stuff you've brought up before, because people have the attention span of a drunk chimp and have probably already forgotten what you were talking about. 0. Counting is for losers. You're allowed to skip one number for any reason whatsoever, if you do this often enough it will eventally become a joke all on its own and make people feel are warm and fuzzy because they're in on the joke. For some odd reason Xena top ten lists usually skip the number six. As far as we can tell this is because they're lazy (which is why we support the practice!). And remember: "A muse must amuse."